


Incorrect TMNT Quotes(Sorta)

by Rose39



Series: Incorrect Quotes(Sorta) [3]
Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, F/M, Incorrect Quotes, M/M, Multi, Recreational Drug Use, Slice of Life, Talk of murder, Talk of police brutality, adult conversations, illegal drug use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-06-12 09:22:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 1,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15336789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rose39/pseuds/Rose39
Summary: Things I Thought It Would Be Funny If The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Said.





	1. He's Still In The Game...

**Author's Note:**

> My Quote!
> 
> Turtle Tot Time! They're like, 6-8.

The turtles are all arguing and cursing each other out when Splinter has had enough.

"Alright! We are going to play the quiet game! Last one out does not have to train in the morning!" The rat announces, setting each turtle in a different part of the living room, then he leaves to meditate.

Raph glares and Leo, before leaving the room and coming back with a notebook, he writes something down, then throws a different piece of paper at Leo.

The older looks at him in irritation, before Raph holds up the notebook, the words “Fuck You Leo” wrote in bright red bubble letters shown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loosely Based On Something That Happened Between Me And My Siblings When We Were Younger.


	2. Torment The Baby While Dad's Not Looking!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Quote!

Splinter is looking for Michelangelo and is questioning his older sons.

"Mikey? Haven't seen him since training this morning," Leo denies.

"I shooed him out of the lab a few hours ago, haven't seen him since," Donnie shrugs.

"Probably passed out somewhere from eating too much pizza," Raph adds.

"Yeah, he'll turn up eventually," Leo nods.

"He always does!" Donnie agrees.

"Sadly.." Raph mumbles.

Splinter looks at the closet they're all sitting in front of, holding closed.

"If I open that he's not going to be in there?"

"Nope!" The oldest denies.

"Not a chance," the second oldest agrees.

"Donatello?" Splinter crosses his arms, looking at the second youngest.

«Shit, Donnie's the weakest link, he's going to tell!» Raph thinks to himself.

"HOLY FREAKING COW! THERE'S A PENNY IN HERE!" Mikey yells from in the closet.

The older brothers all sigh and let their baby brother out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again based on interactions between me and my siblings.
> 
> Also, yeah, I'm ignoring the canon at this point.


	3. Shini, No

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote

"I'm Karai. I love Leo. I hate Leo. I love Leo. I hate Leo."

"I'm Shinigami. I can't get a boyfriend so I'll stumble across the hall and sleep with the first guy I find there."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize The Quote?


	4. I Swear I Don't Ship It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote

"See? Unisex," Casey shows Mikey a baby outfit that's yellow with a giraffe on it.

"Maybe **_you_** need sex. I just had it a few days ago," Mikey frowns.

"No, dude, U-N-I-sex," Casey sighs.

"I wouldn't say no to that," Mikey nods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize The Quote?


	5. I Blame Donnie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote

"Casey! Is that a weed?!" Mikey cries, seeing Casey holding a green crayon.

"No this is a crayon-" Casey tries to explain himself.

"I'm calling the police!" Mike proceeds to put 911 into the microwave. 

"911 what's your emergency?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize The Quote?


	6. That's... Great...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote

"April, you look like hell," Leo comments as April gets down into the sewer

"Yeah? I just got back," April blows by the blue clad turtle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize The Quote?


	7. She Is...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote

"What is this about, Karai?" Raph asks as him and Donnie meet the woman on her request.

"Well, this isn't going to be easy for all of you to believe," She begins.

"Because you're a sociopath and a liar," Donnie crosses his arms.

"Be that as it may.." Karai sighs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize The Quote?


	8. Yeah...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote!

Leo watches Mondo lay down on the ground and start screaming for no apparent reason.

"That dude gets weirder every time I see him," he whispers to April, who nods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize The Quote?


	9. Logic Lessons With Raph

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote!

The Purple Dragons shoot at Raph repeatedly, but the bullets bounce off his plastron, so they attempt to hit him, only to get their asses kicked.

"See, now... if the bullets don't work, right, why the punching? I just never understood that," the red clad turtle laughs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize The Quote?


	10. Dad, Send Help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not all my quote
> 
> Karai: 17  
> April: 16  
> Shinigami: 15

April is hanging out with Karai and Shinigami while Shini is smoking a joint and Karai is listing every person she's ever slept with when Kirby asks if she can sent video from her “sleepover”.

"Welcome to Karai's sleepover!" April cheers to her phone camera, her “friends” ignoring her.

"Oh, Shannon, she was a real pistol. Ironically that was also the last thing she saw before the police shot her in the head," the eldest keeps listing her exes.

"I remember her! That was very fun," Shinigami offers April her the weed.

"We're all children of Jesus.." April sighs. 

"Who?" The youngest asks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based off of something else, but I paraphrased it, do you know the original?


	11. Casey's Desperate Cry For Help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not my quote.

"And this from the cry-for-help department: Are you wearing makeup?" April asks as she sees Casey in his vigilante make up.

"Yes, I am. As of today, I am officially Casey Jones, hockey player slash vigilante," Casey states proudly.

"That's funny, 'cause I was thinking you look more like Casey Jones, man slash woman," Irma rolls her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize the quote?


	12. Michelangelo's Last Video

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote

Mikey points his phone camera to a roof top hot tube, wear Raph and Casey are sitting as far apart as humanly possible, talking. "Two bros chillin in a hot tub 5 feet apart cuz they're not gay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize the quote?
> 
> If not you may leave, because I want nothing to do with you.  
> (JK)


	13. Shini's Naked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote!

"Karai? Are you in there?" Leo knocks on Karai's door as her and Shinigami are trying to hide some weird magic shit.

"You can't come in!" Karai calls.

"Why not?" Leo asks in confusion.

"Because, uh, Shinigami is naked," Karai lies.

"What?" Leo and Shini both question.

"Well, I couldn't tell him I was naked. He's allowed to see me naked," Karai explains as Leo leaves.

"Why does anyone have to be naked?" Shini complains.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize The Quote?


	14. Donnie Needs A Doctor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not my quote

Mikey pokes Donnie as the purple clad turtle is hunched over his work, not blinking.

"Donnie, have you slept in the past three days?" Leo asks.

"No."

"Donatello, that is not healthy!" Leo uses a more commanding tone, trying to exert his dominance in the situation.

"Sure, I don't get a “Healthy” amount of sleep like some people! But can they do this?!" The brainy turtle stands up quickly, passing out for a second.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> recognize the quote?


	15. Mikey... It's Okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote!

"Did you know when you jerk awake all of the sudden while falling asleep another version of you from a different timeline just died?" Mikey says as he crashes onto the couch next to Casey.

"That's fucked up!" Casey accepts it as one of Mikey's quirks and plays along.

"Actually, it's because your heart rate dropped so fast that your brain jerked you awake to make sure you were still alive," Donnie corrects.

"I Don't Know Which Is Worse!" Mikey cries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize The Quote?


	16. Leo, That's Not How You Heal With Things!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Quote! Because my iPad is 4 years old.

Leo's playing on his phone when it crashes for the 8th time in one sitting.

"Stop being a little bitch," the leader huffs, reopening his app.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next 3 (this included) are all texting/phone related.


	17. Fourteen Thousand And One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not all my quote  
> [On the phone]  
> (Not Visible, Just Info For You)

[Dumb Ass 4(Casey)  
Hey Raph, JSYK;  
14,000 people are having sex right now.  
25,000 are kissing.  
50,000 are hugging.  
And you...well you're reading this.  
Trust me, I'm not happy about it either.  
If you hadn't spammed my phone with 6 messages I would be part of that 14,000. Asshole.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just Casey's numbers messages aren't mine: Recognize The Quote?


	18. (･_･;

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First one ain't mine

[Michelangelo  
Hey, wanna come over and watch porn on my flat screen mirror?  
Mikey...double check who you sent that to...  
Holy shit! Leo! I am so sorry! Please don't tell master Splinter! I didn't mean to send this to you! I am so so so so so so so so so sorry!  
Who was the message for?  
Shinigami...  
Our secret.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize the first message?
> 
> Mikey may be lying about who the message was for, who do you think it was meant for? (Please no T-cest, or at least don't make it explicit, that doesn't fly here)


	19. Pretty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote!

"Fine. No one ever listens to me. If the package is this pretty, no one cares what's inside," Mikey sighs as he's ignored.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize The Quote?


	20. Tired

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote!

"I'm a pacifist. But, when the revolution comes, I'll destroy all of you...Except for you, April," Donnie says out of nowhere, while the only other person in the room is Raph.

"Nap time, buddy," Raph sighs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize The Quote?


	21. I Guess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote!

"I'll never have a first kiss again," Shinigami complains to Leonardo.

"You'll have a last kiss," Leo shrugs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize The Quote?


	22. Poor Baby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote

"Are you okay?" Donnie asks when he sees his little brother crying.

"I broke the crayon," Mikey whines.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize The Quote ?


	23. Really, Casey?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not My Quote

"Who are you to stand up against me, Shredder, destroyer of clans!" Shredder yells as Casey attacks him.

"Casey Jones, graffitier of subways!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize The Quote?(Paraphrased)


	24. Splinter's Wise Words Of The Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not my quote

"When teenagers complain that they want to be treated like human beings, it's usually because they are being treated like human beings," Splinter explains to his sons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recognize the quote?


End file.
